On Tuesday
evening I sat whilst my two girls played and watched the Duke and Duchess of
Cambridge emerge from St Mary’s Hospital in London with their new bundle of
joy. What a beautiful moment that was. And how real it was too. Love them or hate
them, one thing the younger Royal members have done is to normalise the Royal
family. Prince William and Kate Middleton appeared that day like any other couple
who had just had their world rocked by the amazing edition of a small person. Despite
appearances you could see that Kate was a little anxious whilst on parade in front
of the world’s press. She looked glowing but tired. The eyes cannot lie and
hers were filled with joy, tiredness, anxiety, emotion. Behind that smile and
calm appearance was a new Mum with her own unique mix of emotions.
She
looked amazing. How she walked out in those heels I do not know. I remember
feeling as if my insides were about to drop out for a good week after giving
birth for the first time. And then came the twitter comments about her postpartum bump and why was it still there. Hello! She’s just given birth to a baby
people! I couldn't quite believe the ignorance of those people and it got me
thinking about what we really know before we have children of our own.
Image courtesy of www.bbc.co.uk |
The
pressure to snap back into shape on women postpartum is huge. Take a look at
the misguided front cover of OK Magazine that followed the birth announcement and
you will see the kind of world we now live in. What kind of message are we
sending to our children, particularly our daughters? We have the lowest figures
ever of new Mums breastfeeding, natural birth without intervention is becoming
less common and it appears we are moving away from what’s “normal” into
worrying territory.
We
need to be honest about what pregnancy and birth are really all about. Let’s
stop dishing out the fairy stories about storks delivering babies. You can simplify information for young children to
understand that can still remain factually correct. Maybe then the comments
that were thrown at Kate Middleton about her postpartum bump that day wouldn't
have happened because it would be common knowledge to the masses not the
minority.
When
I went to my eldest daughter’s parent’s consultation last Autumn I was
overjoyed to see that when she had been asked to draw a picture of herself as a
baby she drew one of her being breastfed! Hallelujah! Not a bottle in sight.
Now before you all sharpen your daggers thinking I’m attacking those who bottle
feed, I’m not. But what I am pointing out here is that this type of thing is
rare. Advertising never shows a breastfeeding Mum, we don’t have baby dolls who are breastfed, they have bottles, and when a breastfeeding doll did come on to the
market for kids (which I remember seeing via Facebook),
there was an outcry of “it’s weird, not normal”. In my mind that’s all upside
down and back to front. We need to lose the embarrassment factor and bring our
children up knowing the facts not the fairy stories.
I
truly hope that we are now a generation of parents who WILL tell our children
how it really is. We need to swallow back our embarrassment and empower our
children to know the facts about things like pregnancy and childbirth. I know
that I was shocked when I saw my postpartum body. I was mortified to see that
my belly didn't retreat from whence it came. Naive perhaps, but there were
quite a few things that both my own mother and the midwives didn't discuss before
my baby arrived.
Let’s
take that veil down. I applaud Kate Middleton for not hiding her postpartum
body. I have immense respect for her. It wouldn't have been easy to come out to
the scrutiny of the world’s press at such a vulnerable time in her life and she
chose a dress that showed her remaining bump. Perhaps that was her aim. Perhaps
she IS that new generation who will change the face of this distorted world we
live in. The world is watching her, poor woman. I just hope that she is
afforded the time to bond with her baby and is able to embrace whatever feels
right for her as a new Mum.
******
I
have read a few blog posts in recent days from fellow Mum bloggers who have
shared pictures of themselves having just given birth whether that is the day
itself or a few days after and I think this is a great way to raise awareness
about what is normal. We don't all look svelte, made-up and glowing from top to toe. Below I am sharing a few of mine too. Katy Hill tweeted a
picture of herself 2 months after her baby was born. What a breath of fresh air
this lady is. Total respect for you Katy. We need more celebrities like you raising
awareness of what’s real and what’s not. Let’s hope that as women we can start
to change the perception out there so that the reaction Kate Middleton’s appearance
sparked on Tuesday doesn't happens again.
********
If you enjoy my musings and would like to follow me then you can link up with me on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and Bloglovin. Please do leave me a comment. I love to read them xx
I was completely shocked after I gave birth and was left with what looked like a deflated balloon. I think it took about 6 months plus for it to go down and over a year for me to actually lose the weight - I wasn't bothered though, just looking at him and looking after him took most of my time at first. Great post!
ReplyDeleteHi Tas - Thanks for popping by. Yes, I think that our first birth can bring such a mix of emotions about how our bodies have changed. They are truly amazing and I feel we need to embrace our new postpartum bodies and be proud that we have just created the most amazing beings xx
DeleteDid you see this article on the BBC? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23276432 It's called "Are women's bodies still beautiful after pregnancy?" and there are some really great pictures. I felt the question itself was an odd one really (pretty patronising) and falls into the pit of implying 'women should look slim, taut and young', but the article is very positive. I agree totally we need to be a lot more up front about how pregnancy changes us physically as well as emotionally and socially and reject the premise that we are no longer attractive and beautiful!
ReplyDeleteHi Nicola - I initially saw the main image on Facebook. The BBC article is a good one and the pictures are great. It's positive that these sorts of articles are popping up now particularly with the internet at our fingertips. I love reading @MilliHill who writes a blog called The Mule & who founded The Positive Birth Movement. She is a big advocate of women being empowered pre and post birth. I think it's all about empowering women about their new bodies and not hiding the fact that we will be forever changed once we give birth and that this is OK. Thanks for your comments xx
DeleteI wrote a post the day after the 'great unveiling' cos I was so shocked by people#s (in particular the press) reactions - of course you don't get rid of your tummy straight away! Why do people look at that bit anyway? She looked amazing, had just cooked and given birth to the heir to the throne! You also looked amazing....I didn't so much but like to use my c-sections as an excuse! x
ReplyDeleteHello Lovely xx It was your post amongst others that I read and which inspired me to write this one :0) And you look great too by the way. My hubby has ones of me literally after I've given birth and I'm not sure I could have mustered the smile I have in the pictures above which are a day or so after the main event. I was shocked that my tummy didn't disappear quickly and I just hope that the stir over Kate Middleton's postpartum bump will bring a new understanding of what it means to have given birth and what's normal too xx
Deleteexcellent post! three years on my body has not quite recovered, kids are doing well though! x
ReplyDeleteHi Jane - Good to hear it ! Not sure my body has fully revoered either. Just read your BF post on the Powder Room. You're a girl after my own heart. My youngest is 2 and a half and still going strong. Lovely to connect with you x
DeleteGreat post Charlie, you are so right! But I think it's also about the media portrayal women's bodies in general and the concept of perfection. It needs eradicating along with this issue! x
ReplyDeleteHi Ross xx I agree that the media portrayal has an awful lot to answer for but sadly I think it's going to be up to us as parents to make sure our kids grow up knowing fact from fiction & this may be a challenge in the face of such a false media. Being happy in your own skin is a rarity these days & that contentment in our bodies has to start with ourselves - a steep mountain perhaps? xx
DeleteGreat post Charlie!
ReplyDeleteI admired her for walking out of hospital like that (and on heels no less), and I admire you for putting up your photos here. You look gorgeous in all of them.
I guess the more we all talk about it, the more people will be educated and not have unrealistic expectations and distorted views about women and their bodies!
xx
Thanks Orly x I so agree with you. Time to stop hiding and actually sharing the reality of it all. Let's be proud of our bodies whether it be post baby or not. It's about time x
DeleteVery well said!
ReplyDeleteAnd you look lovely in your photos!
Thanks Livi xx Means a lot :0)
Delete