Thursday, 22 August 2013

Sometimes It's Good to Simply Write for the Want Rather Than the Need

This is going to be one of those posts which has no purpose and probably ends up being a load of drivel but you know something, I don’t care. I’m sat in our caravan and things are peaceful. There’s no WW3 taking place between the girls or for that matter between hubby and I, and I’m actually enjoying sitting here tapping on my keyboard with no need for purpose or intent. It feels rather liberating.

We’re currently holidaying with the girls in Cornwall. We’ve stayed here 3 years running and love coming back. This time Tink is 2½ and this makes things easier in one way but still a challenge in another. I’m finally resigning myself to the fact that with children the phases don’t get easier per se, they just change.

Our first trip in our caravan was when Tink was just 4 months old ! When I look back now, I’m not sure how we coped but we did. We actually went away in the caravan that year about 5 times mainly visiting my Mum whilst she was in hospital not long before she passed away. It was the only way we could afford to get up to see her and somehow the adventure of being in a caravan helped make it semi exciting for Belle.

We made up a make shift cot for Tink to sleep in, got into a rhythm with everything and I have to say that we probably had some of the best sleeps on those trips away than we had at any other point in Tink’s first year, particularly as like Belle she wasn’t a good sleeper.

The view of the sea from our caravan pitch

On this holiday though, the cot has been dismantled and the girls can now enjoy this section as a table and chairs to draw and play at again. Tink has taken her new place in the bottom bunk and after almost 4 days we are finally finding a new rhythm again here in Cornwall.

I have lots of memories of Mum here. I spent most days the first time we stayed talking to her on the phone whilst she went through her chemo sessions. I would often talk to her whilst sat in the laundry room waiting for the never ending washing babies seem to create whirring around the machine. I’d look out to the play park and watch hubby and the girls playing (little Tink in her sling or her pushchair) and wish so hard that I could make my Mum’s cancer disappear. The memories are bitter sweet but somehow I feel close to her here. It’s as if that time has left an essence of her and so it feels good to return.

Today we went down to the beach and it always amazes me how healing I find the sea. It is such an awesome power and force yet it can be so calming and transforming all at the same time. If I’m pent up with frustrations, all I need to do is spend an hour near the sea and somehow those emotions release and are soothed away by the ebb and flow of watching the sea do her thing.

We are here for 2 weeks with very few, if any plans. It feels great to know that if we want to we can just go to the beach each afternoon with the girls and help them build sand castles and splash about in the sea. The sun has blessed us with her presence each day so far and it would appear she’s scheduled for a few more days yet. Let’s hope so.

I hadn’t realised how much we needed this break away until we arrived here a few days ago. Life can pick up speed so much if you let it can’t it, and it’s only when you come away from the usual day to day stuff do you truly realise how important it is to slow down and recharge again. I won’t say relax because with small children in tow that word doesn’t really feature on the radar, but recharge is something we can do and I’m planning on making sure that I come back home full to the brim with lots more positive energy again.

I’m looking forward to using this time away to work out how I want to move forward with my writing and other work opportunities. It’s an exciting time but often everyday stuff particularly with small children, can stop the creative juices from flowing freely. So whilst I’m away I’m going to pick up this laptop when the urge takes me and just write, because you know I may actually write some of my best stuff yet, or perhaps like this post, it may just end up being pointless drivel.

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4 comments:

  1. Enjoy the rest of your break away x

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    1. Thanks Kim xx Intending to make the most of our time here together. Thanks for popping by xx

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  2. Have a lovely holiday. You obviously have holidays sussed....with my 3 kids there is barely a moment of free time for mummy! I'm sure I am doing something wrong. We go home tomorrow and I will be glad to return to usual routines aka proper bedtimes lol xx

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    1. Just back from the holiday and I can confirm that I certainly haven't sussed it either with a toddler in tow ! Lots of Ups and a fair few downs too. This parenting malarky is tough eh? xx

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