But let’s get some perspective here, the past few weeks haven’t all been sickness and nothing else. We did get to visit family in the Easter holidays which was very healing. Tink and I were fighting off what Belle & Hubby seem to have now, but despite that we caught up with loved ones which was lots of fun. It can be tough living 3 hours away by car, not being able to see everyone quite as often as you’d like and as the girls are still so young the changes that family notice are huge in comparison to those seen in their cousins who live nearby.
It’s a sacrifice you make and the positives for us as a family unit do outweigh the negatives. Now that Mum is no longer with us, visiting the area has been difficult over the past year or so. But this time something felt different. I didn't feel the heavy weight I’d felt on previous visits and somehow I felt a little more accepting of where we now find ourselves. I know she’s with us always and that has to be enough now if I am to move on in my life. She’ll always be in my heart.
When we are up visiting everyone, we always try to visit my sister. If you have been reading the blog you will know that she was born normal and when she was 15 months old she had a vaccination which left her brain damaged. She is now 44 and lives in a special home for adults who like her have varying degrees of special needs. It has always been a challenge to get my eldest daughter to accept that she is one of her Aunties. She is finally getting her head around it all at age 6 but has struggled with the fact that Auntie makes loud, scary noises and can be unpredictable at times. However, my sister is always so good around the girls and calmer than normal. It’s as if she knows she needs to be calmer with them around. I had a couple of lovely visits; one where I sat in on her communication session. She is learning Facilitated Communication which is finally giving her a way of expressing herself. It’s pretty awesome to see her progress so I felt privileged to sit in on that. Then the next day we took her out to lunch with her key worker, my Dad and the girls. It’s always a risk as dependent on her mood it can go well or it can go a little pear shaped. It all worked in our favour though and we had such a lovely lunch. The girls busied themselves with drawing and colouring, I was able to focus on my sister and apart from the odd strange look from other diners when she made her loud, happy shouts we had a really special meal. It was good to see her again after many months and to begin to feel like a family again. After the loss of Mum it’s been hard to find the new dynamic of where we all fit once more.
We managed to catch up with hubby’s family too which was lovely. The girls spent time with their cousins and I escaped for a day to London’s Olympia to attend an exhibition for my other blog Sophia’s Choice. I immersed myself in the world of organic, natural and eco-friendly products for the day and it felt so good to connect with new people again. Being Mum to the girls is great but I miss that adult one-on-one time where my brain is once again switched on and stimulated. However, when I returned I was plunged back into Mummydom once more. My youngest greeted me with tear streaked cheeks and an upset tummy. My bubble was burst and I came back down to earth with a bump. Oh well, it was lovely whilst it lasted !
Since our return home, hubby and I have celebrated our 14th Wedding Anniversary and 21 years together as a couple. I can’t believe where that time has gone. It only seems like yesterday when we met at Uni and fell for each other. The Mad Mummy Musings has also been the “Newbie Showcase” on the lovely Victoria Welton's blog, Verily Victoria Vocalises this past week too. She runs a weekly linky called PoCoLo (Post Comment Love) and we were showcased which was great. I was hoping to have lots of new posts lined up to share throughout that time, but having sickly kids has stopped that one in its tracks. However, I have connected with some lovely fellow bloggers which is always a bonus.
I have loads more I want to write about which is currently whirring around my head. I think I’m going to have to start writing it all down in a notebook or I’m just going to forget it all. These past few days in particular have shown me again that life can so easily get pushed off track when you have children. You have it all planned out one way and then “all change”!
I’m now keeping everything crossed that Tink and I don’t get this sickness bug back again and she can start nursery as planned next week. She was too poorly last week to start and then this week her Sis has been ill instead. We will get there eventually Tink, I promise.
So for now this is all you’re getting from me. However, I will aim to be back sooner rather than later but don’t hold your breath on that one. You know me it may be a month from now or perhaps tomorrow. We’ll just have to see how Plan A pans out! Until next time xx
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