On Tuesday
evening I sat whilst my two girls played and watched the Duke and Duchess of
Cambridge emerge from St Mary’s Hospital in London with their new bundle of
joy. What a beautiful moment that was. And how real it was too. Love them or hate
them, one thing the younger Royal members have done is to normalise the Royal
family. Prince William and Kate Middleton appeared that day like any other couple
who had just had their world rocked by the amazing edition of a small person. Despite
appearances you could see that Kate was a little anxious whilst on parade in front
of the world’s press. She looked glowing but tired. The eyes cannot lie and
hers were filled with joy, tiredness, anxiety, emotion. Behind that smile and
calm appearance was a new Mum with her own unique mix of emotions.
She
looked amazing. How she walked out in those heels I do not know. I remember
feeling as if my insides were about to drop out for a good week after giving
birth for the first time. And then came the twitter comments about her postpartum bump and why was it still there. Hello! She’s just given birth to a baby
people! I couldn't quite believe the ignorance of those people and it got me
thinking about what we really know before we have children of our own.
Image courtesy of www.bbc.co.uk |
The
pressure to snap back into shape on women postpartum is huge. Take a look at
the misguided front cover of OK Magazine that followed the birth announcement and
you will see the kind of world we now live in. What kind of message are we
sending to our children, particularly our daughters? We have the lowest figures
ever of new Mums breastfeeding, natural birth without intervention is becoming
less common and it appears we are moving away from what’s “normal” into
worrying territory.
We
need to be honest about what pregnancy and birth are really all about. Let’s
stop dishing out the fairy stories about storks delivering babies. You can simplify information for young children to
understand that can still remain factually correct. Maybe then the comments
that were thrown at Kate Middleton about her postpartum bump that day wouldn't
have happened because it would be common knowledge to the masses not the
minority.
When
I went to my eldest daughter’s parent’s consultation last Autumn I was
overjoyed to see that when she had been asked to draw a picture of herself as a
baby she drew one of her being breastfed! Hallelujah! Not a bottle in sight.
Now before you all sharpen your daggers thinking I’m attacking those who bottle
feed, I’m not. But what I am pointing out here is that this type of thing is
rare. Advertising never shows a breastfeeding Mum, we don’t have baby dolls who are breastfed, they have bottles, and when a breastfeeding doll did come on to the
market for kids (which I remember seeing via Facebook),
there was an outcry of “it’s weird, not normal”. In my mind that’s all upside
down and back to front. We need to lose the embarrassment factor and bring our
children up knowing the facts not the fairy stories.
I
truly hope that we are now a generation of parents who WILL tell our children
how it really is. We need to swallow back our embarrassment and empower our
children to know the facts about things like pregnancy and childbirth. I know
that I was shocked when I saw my postpartum body. I was mortified to see that
my belly didn't retreat from whence it came. Naive perhaps, but there were
quite a few things that both my own mother and the midwives didn't discuss before
my baby arrived.
Let’s
take that veil down. I applaud Kate Middleton for not hiding her postpartum
body. I have immense respect for her. It wouldn't have been easy to come out to
the scrutiny of the world’s press at such a vulnerable time in her life and she
chose a dress that showed her remaining bump. Perhaps that was her aim. Perhaps
she IS that new generation who will change the face of this distorted world we
live in. The world is watching her, poor woman. I just hope that she is
afforded the time to bond with her baby and is able to embrace whatever feels
right for her as a new Mum.
******
I
have read a few blog posts in recent days from fellow Mum bloggers who have
shared pictures of themselves having just given birth whether that is the day
itself or a few days after and I think this is a great way to raise awareness
about what is normal. We don't all look svelte, made-up and glowing from top to toe. Below I am sharing a few of mine too. Katy Hill tweeted a
picture of herself 2 months after her baby was born. What a breath of fresh air
this lady is. Total respect for you Katy. We need more celebrities like you raising
awareness of what’s real and what’s not. Let’s hope that as women we can start
to change the perception out there so that the reaction Kate Middleton’s appearance
sparked on Tuesday doesn't happens again.
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